The Gifts and the Gripes
After this weekend, I understand a bit more about the Israelites and their wandering. I mean, here they are in the wilderness, and God's providing everything for them - manna in the morning, water at night - from ROCKS, even! - and still they complain? Come ON, we say, why can't they SEE what God's done for them? He drowned Pharaoh's entire army, right in front of their eyes, and what's the next thing we read? They're complaining. What the heck???
Well, this weekend, we received an incredible gift. We got a check from Thrivent in the mail as part of a fundraiser our church sponsored to help us pay for my hospital bills from when I broke my ankle. That check alone would be enough to not only pay for January's payment, but a decent whack off the principal of the loan, as well. But no! We also were told that the church would be also sending a separate check - which will be enough to cover February's payment as well! Both of them are very very very appreciated - even moreso since I'm not getting paid for the week between Christmas and New Years'. (Company shutdown, and since I'm contract, I don't get paid for it. Normally I'd have saved back a few days of Paid Time Off, but that was all spent back in June. See above re: busted ankle.)
And I am very very very grateful! Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful, thankful, and all the other -fuls. I'm grateful to God for his mercy and his Providence. I'm thankful to Zion for their generosity. I'm thankful to Thrivent for their charity, as well. I really, really, really am.
So how's the "complaining" come into it?
I'm not complaining. I'm not! I just understand why the Israelites complained after all that God did for them. None of my gratitude erases the fact that I still had to get up at 4:30 this morning. It didn't make the drive to Indianapolis shorter. It doesn't make the drive around and in Indy any easier or less crowded. It doesn't change the company from their apparent mindset of "Company Über Alles". It doesn't make the people I work with suddenly realize that we're supposed to work together, not in competition with each other, and that if the TEAM does well then we all look good - that if the TEAM doesn't do well, no matter how much one particular person preens and postures and tries to put the others down, NOBODY (including the show-off) is going to benefit. It doesn't mean that the very THOUGHT of coming in to work today didn't reduce me to tears last night.
I trust God. He, and that trust, are the only things keeping me going some days. Because that trust means that I know that whatever I do, He's there. Whatever I'm going through is happening for the best. But I totally understand why the griping came so soon after Pharaoh's army was defeated - entirely by God, right in front of the Israelites' eyes.
Sometimes that pillar of cloud and fire is pretty diffuse and dim. But...He's still leading. I can only follow. Even when I don't particularly want to. He'll continue to care for me, just as he demonstrated this weekend. And I'll continue to be grateful, and hold on to that promise, and remember opening that envelope and seeing that check.
Well, this weekend, we received an incredible gift. We got a check from Thrivent in the mail as part of a fundraiser our church sponsored to help us pay for my hospital bills from when I broke my ankle. That check alone would be enough to not only pay for January's payment, but a decent whack off the principal of the loan, as well. But no! We also were told that the church would be also sending a separate check - which will be enough to cover February's payment as well! Both of them are very very very appreciated - even moreso since I'm not getting paid for the week between Christmas and New Years'. (Company shutdown, and since I'm contract, I don't get paid for it. Normally I'd have saved back a few days of Paid Time Off, but that was all spent back in June. See above re: busted ankle.)
And I am very very very grateful! Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful, thankful, and all the other -fuls. I'm grateful to God for his mercy and his Providence. I'm thankful to Zion for their generosity. I'm thankful to Thrivent for their charity, as well. I really, really, really am.
So how's the "complaining" come into it?
I'm not complaining. I'm not! I just understand why the Israelites complained after all that God did for them. None of my gratitude erases the fact that I still had to get up at 4:30 this morning. It didn't make the drive to Indianapolis shorter. It doesn't make the drive around and in Indy any easier or less crowded. It doesn't change the company from their apparent mindset of "Company Über Alles". It doesn't make the people I work with suddenly realize that we're supposed to work together, not in competition with each other, and that if the TEAM does well then we all look good - that if the TEAM doesn't do well, no matter how much one particular person preens and postures and tries to put the others down, NOBODY (including the show-off) is going to benefit. It doesn't mean that the very THOUGHT of coming in to work today didn't reduce me to tears last night.
I trust God. He, and that trust, are the only things keeping me going some days. Because that trust means that I know that whatever I do, He's there. Whatever I'm going through is happening for the best. But I totally understand why the griping came so soon after Pharaoh's army was defeated - entirely by God, right in front of the Israelites' eyes.
Sometimes that pillar of cloud and fire is pretty diffuse and dim. But...He's still leading. I can only follow. Even when I don't particularly want to. He'll continue to care for me, just as he demonstrated this weekend. And I'll continue to be grateful, and hold on to that promise, and remember opening that envelope and seeing that check.
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