"Do You Trust God?"
A friend asked me yesterday, while we were talking about several things, "Do you trust God?" Well, what kinda question is that, of course I do, I thought. "No, don't answer right away - just think about it."
So...I have.
And...lotsa thoughts.
Of course.
Because, y'know, everyone in my head has an opinion, and nobody's afraid to share. :D
Think I'll break it up into two posts, hopefully that'll help organize things.
This one'll be about How do I KNOW that I'm trusting Him? Why is it easier to trust Him for big stuff?
See, told ya it was unorganized.
How do I know I'm trusting Him?
Really? I got no answer. My best days are still filled with sneaky little thoughts that I really, truly, honestly cannot get rid of. The "What Ifs" and the "oh and then there's this other thing..." still sneak in. And, as much as we'd like to believe we can control all our thoughts, the fact is, we just CAN'T.
Think you can?
Okay, quick, blank your mind COMPLETELY. No thoughts at all. Can you do that? I'll wait.
[...]
Uh-huh.
Thought not.
And if you did, NOW, keep it blank and DO NOT THINK of anything. Especially not a purple elephant on roller skates with a juggling monkey on his back.
BLANK, don't put another thought in there to make the elephant and monkey you're not thinking of go away.
Yyyyyyyyyyeah, that worked a TREAT, didn't it.
Still think it's possible for us to control EVERY thought that flits through our minds?
So, the best I can do is to recognize those thoughts for what they are - an attempt of Satan and my own sinful nature to distract me from God's promises to love and care for me and to do what's best for me - and shove them aside. Recognize them, acknowledge them (because, for me anyway, trying to IGNORE them makes them worse, not better), and then REPLACE them with an active thought: "God will care for me. God will provide whatever I need. Sometimes those things are provided months or even YEARS before I know I need it, so that they're waiting there when I DO need it. I don't even REALIZE how much He's providing...so He'll take care of that thing too."
Does that make the fear and worry go away? Not always, and not necessarily completely - but it makes it easier to deal with. Just like a single lightbulb in one room of a house doesn't completely eradicate darkness in the whole house - but it does make the room it's in nice and bright.
That's how I trust. I wish it was stronger, but...I keep working at it.
Why is it easier to trust God for the Big Stuff, like Salvation, than it is for the day-to-day stuff?
I think it's a lot of reasons. Number one is because hey, I can't DO anything about SALVATION. I can try, but in the end it is, as Isaiah said, "like filthy rags". (Incidentally, I don't like the ESV translation of "like an unclean garment". Not nearly as evocative, especially when you consider that Isaiah wasn't referring to Shop Rags, here...he was referring to the...um..."moon phase" kind of rags, if you get the drift. Yup, all our good works and deeds are like THAT to God. But I digress.)
No matter what I do, it won't be enough. I keep ON sinning, I keep ON screwing up, and no amount of "fixing it" on MY part will help. So I have to trust Him for that, don't I?
Another reason is that Salvation is something intangible. Can't see it, smell it, taste it, or hear it, and meanwhile Christmas is coming and I'm not gonna get paid for 5 days between Christmas and New Year's, and we still haven't bought any Christmas presents for anyone and how are we gonna afford the gas to go to any of the family and great now we can't go and that's just DUCKY isn't it and I'm STILL at a job that's 150 miles away from home and and and and.
And all that gangs up on me and I start THINKING about it and this is IMMEDIATE stuff that needs attention and what NOW and ... taking away trust. Just stampeding right over it into WORRY! PANIC! YAAAAAAGH!
Well, guess what. God DOES take care of that too. And I have to stop several times a day and tell myself that.
He doesn't always do it on MY timeline. Sometimes He's waaaaayyyyyy too "slow" for my taste. (Especially about the job thing.) But He's obviously got reasons for me to be where I am, when I am, and when He's ready for me to go somewhere else, or do something else, He'll let me know, somehow. Even when I can't hear Him so good. I just have to continue to trust in Him - no matter how hard that is.
So...I have.
And...lotsa thoughts.
Of course.
Because, y'know, everyone in my head has an opinion, and nobody's afraid to share. :D
Think I'll break it up into two posts, hopefully that'll help organize things.
This one'll be about How do I KNOW that I'm trusting Him? Why is it easier to trust Him for big stuff?
See, told ya it was unorganized.
How do I know I'm trusting Him?
Really? I got no answer. My best days are still filled with sneaky little thoughts that I really, truly, honestly cannot get rid of. The "What Ifs" and the "oh and then there's this other thing..." still sneak in. And, as much as we'd like to believe we can control all our thoughts, the fact is, we just CAN'T.
Think you can?
Okay, quick, blank your mind COMPLETELY. No thoughts at all. Can you do that? I'll wait.
[...]
Uh-huh.
Thought not.
And if you did, NOW, keep it blank and DO NOT THINK of anything. Especially not a purple elephant on roller skates with a juggling monkey on his back.
BLANK, don't put another thought in there to make the elephant and monkey you're not thinking of go away.
Yyyyyyyyyyeah, that worked a TREAT, didn't it.
Still think it's possible for us to control EVERY thought that flits through our minds?
So, the best I can do is to recognize those thoughts for what they are - an attempt of Satan and my own sinful nature to distract me from God's promises to love and care for me and to do what's best for me - and shove them aside. Recognize them, acknowledge them (because, for me anyway, trying to IGNORE them makes them worse, not better), and then REPLACE them with an active thought: "God will care for me. God will provide whatever I need. Sometimes those things are provided months or even YEARS before I know I need it, so that they're waiting there when I DO need it. I don't even REALIZE how much He's providing...so He'll take care of that thing too."
Does that make the fear and worry go away? Not always, and not necessarily completely - but it makes it easier to deal with. Just like a single lightbulb in one room of a house doesn't completely eradicate darkness in the whole house - but it does make the room it's in nice and bright.
That's how I trust. I wish it was stronger, but...I keep working at it.
Why is it easier to trust God for the Big Stuff, like Salvation, than it is for the day-to-day stuff?
I think it's a lot of reasons. Number one is because hey, I can't DO anything about SALVATION. I can try, but in the end it is, as Isaiah said, "like filthy rags". (Incidentally, I don't like the ESV translation of "like an unclean garment". Not nearly as evocative, especially when you consider that Isaiah wasn't referring to Shop Rags, here...he was referring to the...um..."moon phase" kind of rags, if you get the drift. Yup, all our good works and deeds are like THAT to God. But I digress.)
No matter what I do, it won't be enough. I keep ON sinning, I keep ON screwing up, and no amount of "fixing it" on MY part will help. So I have to trust Him for that, don't I?
Another reason is that Salvation is something intangible. Can't see it, smell it, taste it, or hear it, and meanwhile Christmas is coming and I'm not gonna get paid for 5 days between Christmas and New Year's, and we still haven't bought any Christmas presents for anyone and how are we gonna afford the gas to go to any of the family and great now we can't go and that's just DUCKY isn't it and I'm STILL at a job that's 150 miles away from home and and and and.
And all that gangs up on me and I start THINKING about it and this is IMMEDIATE stuff that needs attention and what NOW and ... taking away trust. Just stampeding right over it into WORRY! PANIC! YAAAAAAGH!
Well, guess what. God DOES take care of that too. And I have to stop several times a day and tell myself that.
He doesn't always do it on MY timeline. Sometimes He's waaaaayyyyyy too "slow" for my taste. (Especially about the job thing.) But He's obviously got reasons for me to be where I am, when I am, and when He's ready for me to go somewhere else, or do something else, He'll let me know, somehow. Even when I can't hear Him so good. I just have to continue to trust in Him - no matter how hard that is.
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