Deathwatch

Nothing is quite like a deathwatch. Simultaneously praying for it to end, and hoping for yet a little more time. Not wanting to be there, and yet it is the last -- indeed, the only -- thing i can do. And so i wait, and watch. Waiting for the end. Watching for rhe next breath. Hoping it doesnt come. Praying for his pain and trial to end. For this stage of mine to end, and the next stage to begin. And so i wait. And i watch. The last service i can do. And so I wait. And I watch. And i pray for it to end.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not Really

​people keep telling me I’m “so  strong”. I sure don’t feel it. I’m angry, I’m unhappy, I’m hurting, and I feel fragile enough to shatter. I’m not strong. I’m not who you think I am. And I won’t live in the shadow of expectations anymore,
Read more

At the Red Sea

Ya know...I kinda get the idea of how some of the Israelites must've felt at the Red Sea with Pharaoh's army coming down on them. OVERWHELMED. We cleaned a bit over the weekend...and did shopping...and of course I didn't get any sleep last night because my hip was hurting so damn bad I couldn't get comfortable. Then the drive in today, and dammit I just can't take it anymore. I mean, really! If we have to move we have to, at minimum , replace the fence around our property. That's going to cost a LOT, and I have no idea where it's coming from. And now of course taxes are coming due and we might or might NOT owe the feds anything, depending on what I can find out about our Property Tax - but we certainly will owe the STATE, because I just found out that my Short-Term Disability didn't take out any state taxes whatsofreakingever, so we'll owe the state at least $200. PLUS we'll have to paint, and I hope to God that we can get the carpets half...
Read more